10 Years

Ten years ago today I went to class late, as usual, and had to wait for the bus from Ramsey to North Campus. I stepped on the bus and the driver looked at me a little funny. I quickly realized no one was making a sound. They were all listening to news on the radio. One of the World Trade Center towers in New York was just hit by a plane. An airplane? The confusion set in.

I hopped off at my stop and quickly ran to the TV in Coke lounge in Sanford hall. Being late to class paid off as I was the first of about 500 that tried to cram into that room. We all sat there as strangers and cried like friends as we watched the second plane hit the other tower. I'm pretty sure there wasn't anyone in that room, or our country, that had any idea what was really going on.

I realized what was happening right about the time my dad called my cell phone. He was calm, and asked me where I was. I told him, and asked dad, are we safe? Without hesitation he said Fred, so help me God as long as I am alive you will be safe. Now get your ass back to your apartment and stay there until I tell you it is okay to leave. I'm serious. Get home, stay put and stay off of your phone unless it's us calling. If you get to your brother before me you tell him to hang up and call me.

I miss him so much. I miss the way that no matter what was happening, good or bad, he was my first call and I was his after mom. Not that he didn't want to talk to Scott as much as me, he just knew I was the most likely to get him on the phone. He was also a nervous wreck because my mom was working at the airport at the time. So was my sister, his step daughter.

I tell this story for the obvious reason that we are all spending this day remembering that terrible tragedy, and those who lost their lives and loved ones. I was so proud as mom and I drove through many small towns today and each one of them had some sort of event going on today to honor those lost and our service men and women.

I also remember how bad I wanted to have my family in my arms reach. Every single one of them. Right there in front of me where I could touch them and not worry. Where I could physically see that they were okay and make sure they stayed that way. And how insanely sad I felt for those who didn't know where their loved ones were, or even worse, they knew that they were in one of those buildings.

Looking back, at 19 years old, that is the closest to feeling like a mother as I ever came before motherhood. It's also very telling of how mothers end up crazy. And stressed. And emotional. That is a huge weight to carry around with you every second of every day.

I hope and pray little baby Hardin never has to experience anything like that in his lifetime. But if he does, I sure hope he feels as close and comforted by his family.

H was feeling much better today so mom and I packed him up early and headed to Stone Mountain Park for the Yellow Daisy Festival. We had a great time walking around looking at all the neat stuff we'd never dare purchase and making mental notes about things we could do ourselves. I also hit the jackpot of handmade appliqued jon jons for next summer. I got 4 for 40 bucks, and one is reversible. I'd post pictures of our day, but they'd spoil one of our favorite reader's Christmas gift.